The season for hosting is here – dinners, weddings, all sorts of parties, etc. Celebratory hosting can be fun, but it can also be a headache! The goal is very simple – make people happy and delighted with you in whatever achievement, milestone, anticipation, etc.
So, what makes hosting complex? The host’s nature – personality and type of event? Some hosts want everything to be perfect – i.e. the guest should not see any flaws.
On the other hand, there are hosts who believe that everything will fall into place as the event progresses – this is more typical to impromptu events but also happens in those planned well in advance.
The type of host that fascinates me is the host that is involved with the preparatory activities up until the guests arrive – there is a lot of running around up until the first guest arrives. Typically, this type of host, always wants the guests to be at least 30 minutes or even an hour late – as the adrenalin to be a great host gets pumped up in those last few minutes, suddenly creative juices start reaching top levels and all the missing things start running through the mind.
The first guest can either trigger the host’s reaction in a positive or negative direction – i.e. the host may suddenly feel irritated by the first guest actions or none thereof. The guest may simply ask, “What can I do to assist you?”. This may be a good or a bad request depending on the nature of the host. If the host enjoys delegating, this may be a good request as the host may suddenly dump all the things the guest can assist with – and subsequently make the guest feel at home and also be part of the hosting team.
If the host enjoys centralising everything, this may just trigger an unpleasant and irate response – as the host will then suddenly have to stop thinking about the list of things that needed to be done to instruct the guest on what needs to be done – during the pause in thinking of the list, the host may also forget some of the tasks that needed to be done, which would also lead to more irritation.
So, what would be a safe way to deal with a host who enjoys centralising everything? Maybe, if the guest is perceptive, the guest could say, “I see you are under a lot of pressure in getting everything done before other guests arrive. Could I arrange XYZ? What other things are pressing that you could offload to me?” This type of request is likely to put the host at ease and feel that the guest understands that everything doesn’t have to be 100%.
This scenario is quite common in the working world, where the senior member of the team may feel that they need to centralise everything when deadlines are looming and they feel everything needs to be done perfectly. So, as you wind down also reflect on how you can make your “hosting” or being a “guest” easy for your team in the new year. It can be difficult, but doesn’t have to be complicated. Happy holidays!