During my varsity days I went through a case study where two individuals were “blindfolded” and had to assess the quality and safety of two different cars. These cars were manufactured by two different companies from two different countries – Japan vs Germany.
To the satisfaction of the judges, the individuals’ blindfolded scores were identical.
The individuals where then subsequently given the same cars, now with the names and emblems on them. Just like the blindfolded testing, the individuals’ scores were identical – in the same direction. But to their surprise, the participants’ scores differed between blindfolded and open eye assessments.
The participants were puzzled and had to be shown videos as proof that the recording of their scores was accurate. This revealed an important factor to them – SYMBOLS MATTER A LOT, they influence our perception of reality whether it is in a good or bad direction.
Although coaching is not really the same as the car quality assessment case study above. In coaching, the coach will generally not have the day-to-day experience that the coachee has, but has to help them navigate to reach the desired peak performance.
A coach does not necessarily need to know more nor have experience in the field that they are coaching you in – and the best would probably be someone who doesn’t have the exact experience that you seek to grow in. This might sound a bit contradictory, but it is actually what is needed. A coach is not a director.
You, as the coachee, are the director – the coach helps you explore options on ways to reach your desired destination. If the coach is too prescriptive, there is the risk of doing things outside your value system – which can be counterproductive.
You, as the coachee, are fully responsible for where you are going – the coach is there to keep you accountable to your next, out of many, destinations.
While a coach may challenge you at times, you should never feel that you need to avoid your coach because of some unattainable target that you agreed to take on.
This is where the biggest symbol in coaching comes in. The ?, probably the biggest symbol in coaching.
Questioning is undoubtedly one of the biggest tools in a coaching relationship. An effective coach’s responsibility is to ask questions that will drive you to your desired levels – without infringing on you.
There will undoubtedly be boundaries that will need to be set and at any time you should also be able to say that there are certain questions you are unable to respond to, and that needs to be respected and not have any negative impact on the coaching relationship.
If you feel that the coach’s questioning does not build you, you have every right to indicate that to them – and they need to adjust or the continuation of the relationship needs to be reevaluated. # #coaching #valuesystems #highachievers #businesscoaching #TomTs #questioning